Parents are monitoring their adult children. Is this attitude really safe?

Smartphone location tracking can help parents gain some peace of mind regarding the whereabouts of their minor children - and some families may even make its use mandatory for their children.

But what about parents who monitor their adult children? Is this easing parents' concerns or causing even more distress?

More than half of parents monitor their adult children using digital technology, according to new research published by the University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor.

According to the survey, nearly 25% of parents who monitor their adult children said that monitoring can sometimes increase their apprehensions rather than reassure them.

"This kind of monitoring can fuel and cause anxiety in parents, because when you only have one piece of data, your brain has to fill in the rest," said CNN contributor Kara Alaimo, a communications professor at Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey who was not involved in the research. "You need to make assumptions and jump to conclusions, which may or may not be accurate."

Approximately 68% of parents said they used tracking to alleviate their own worries, 64% said they used it in case of emergencies, and 17% said it was to ensure their child - legally an adult - was in a place they considered safe.

Sarah Clark, a scientific researcher at the University of Michigan and co-director of the Mott research, said that, in her opinion, none of the reasons justified monitoring adult children. Without clear communication and defined boundaries, Clark said remote monitoring could not only harm parent-child relationships, but also impede the development of critical and independent thinking in young adults.

"I'm not suggesting that all location tracking is bad, but it can easily get into problematic territory when parents meddle in their children's lives," Clark said.

Monitor adult children for perceived safety.
The two most common reasons reported for tracking - peace of mind and in case of emergencies - highlight the importance of safety for parents. The new survey included responses from more than 1,500 parents with at least one child between the ages of 18 and 25.

Still, Clark and Alaimo warned parents not to overestimate their ability to ensure their children's safety from a distance. While it may be tempting to feel secure knowing where your adult children are, this can create a false sense of security.

"Just because you're tracking someone doesn't mean you understand the situation and are there to intervene," Clark said.

Plus, overprotective parenting doesn't teach children to be autonomous and independent, Alaimo said.

"I believe teaching young adults to make responsible decisions for themselves would make them much safer," Alaimo said. "Otherwise, after they've made a terrible decision, knowing where they are won't necessarily solve the problem."

Instead, Alaimo suggested accompanying children through elementary and middle school to offer support and ensure their safety as they begin to gain some independence.

Start conversations
Almost all survey participants said their children were aware of their tracking, but only half of parents said tracking was optional.

Clark pointed to the transition between childhood and adulthood as a time when families should discuss whether mandatory location monitoring is still appropriate.

"The lack of dialogue really bothers me. It's not that the kids didn't know, but they just didn't have a hand in defining what it would be like," Clark said.

Location tracking could be beneficial, experts said. But parents should be transparent about these concerns and build trust with their children, Clark and Alaimo emphasized.

According to Alaimo, monitoring is useful when a daughter goes on a first date or when a child visits a new place. Encouraging your child to share their location with a trusted friend can also be a good alternative.

Scanning should not be the only security precaution taken.

"At this age, we should have taught young adults to recognize when situations can become dangerous and to avoid them altogether, rather than relying on parents to constantly monitor them," Alaimo said.

When young children, especially adult children, don't have the autonomy to make their own decisions, it can strain relationships with their parents and contribute to a perception of mistrust, Clark said.

To start these conversations with their children, Clark encouraged parents to reflect on their own upbringing. At a time when their parents had no way of monitoring them, they depended on occasional contact to see how they were doing.

"If what parents want is occasional contact from their children, that can be negotiated without oversight," Clark said. "This can be a good way for adult children to say, 'It's okay, I'll respond to your messages.'"

Alaimo urged parents to treat their adult children as what they are - adults.

"As adults, they have to make decisions about whether or not they want to be watched, but also because it teaches our children that this is somehow normal," Alaimo said. "This type of monitoring can make them less safe and facilitate abusive relationships."

Giving children space to grow and learn is extremely beneficial, Clark said, and is something parents should understand as necessary for adulthood.

"They haven't learned to let go and allow their children to try to fly on their own. This includes making mistakes, missing classes or being late for work," Clark said. "I think parents need to be honest with themselves about why they do this."

Source: CNN