Haven't you set rules for your children with screens? Now it may be too late

You already know that experts say not to let kids keep their cell phones in their bedrooms at night, but if you're like most parents, this ends up happening anyway.

New research gives parents a reason - and a good excuse - to change that.

Children who use screens in their bedrooms at night use them more frequently and show more problematic screen use a year later, according to a US survey of nearly 8,000 12- to 14-year-olds published in June in the medical journal Acta Paediatrica.

Additionally, children who use screens in their bedrooms at night are more likely to experience and engage in cyberbullying, according to a second study published Tuesday in the Journal of Adolescent Health. Both reports were based on the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development Study, the largest long-term national study of children's brain health and development.

Higher rates of cyberbullying among children who use their cell phones at night may be explained by parents not monitoring screen time as much when children are in their rooms, said Dr. Jason Nagata, associate professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco, and lead author of both recent studies.

One limitation of the research is that young people self-reported cyberbullying, so there may be more cases than children were willing to admit in surveys, Nagata said.

According to research, young people also spend a surprising amount of time on their cell phones when they should be sleeping. On average, a young person spends almost an hour on their cell phone between 10pm and 6am on school nights, and most are online between midnight and 4am on weekdays.

Of course, the American Academy of Pediatrics and experts like me have been telling parents not to leave kids with cell phones in their bedrooms while they sleep for some time. But the new studies give parents arguments to reinforce those rules, Nagata said.

The important thing about these new studies, he said, is that they show that specific parenting practices can improve children's screen experiences.

Put away screens at night
According to Nagata, parents may not be able to limit the use of screens all the time. But bedtime is a "very effective time for this."

"Sleep is very important," he said. "Most teens don't get enough sleep, and lack of sleep can affect mental health, physical health, and a number of other things. So I think if you have to pick your battles, trying to limit the use of screens in the bedroom at bedtime can be really important."

The ideal is to leave phones out of rooms, said Nagata. If this is not possible, the best alternative is to turn them off at night.

How to avoid big arguments with your children about this? What helps is "talking about the benefits of sleep for brain development, mental health and the overall well-being of the whole family," said Anna Seewald, a psychologist in Princeton, New Jersey, and host of the podcast "Authentic Parenting." Seewald, who was not involved in the research, suggested reading articles and listening to podcasts with your children about the benefits of sleep.

Make your meals screen-free moments
Research also found that when young people look at screens during meals, they are more likely to be victims of cyberbullying. This problem can occur because children are not connecting with their parents or guardians to talk about what is going on in their lives.

Meals are "an opportunity to talk with the family" about how things are going for everyone, Nagata said.

The same study also found that children who ate while watching screens gained more weight, he said. "The more children are distracted while eating in front of screens, the more likely they are to eat too much or not even be hungry," said Nagata.

Instead, create a central place where everyone leaves their cell phones during meals, Seewald suggested. That includes parents like me.

When discussing the importance of putting cell phones away during meals, don't focus on what you're leaving out, she said. "Introduce screen-free meals as a way to feel more connected, not as a punishment, because that way you'll have the kids' support."

To make meals more fun, use question cards to start conversations, ask everyone to share what they're grateful for, talk about the best and worst moments of each person's day, play games or tell jokes, Seewald said.

"When kids reach for their cellphones, they are trying to satisfy one of their core emotional needs - whether it's connection, belonging, feeling seen, valued or appreciated," she said.

"If we meet these needs in our homes, through connection, dance, music, laughter and conversation, children will not turn to their cell phones."

Children imitate their parents
One of the main predictors of problematic screen use by children is problematic screen use by parents, according to research. When parents or guardians used screens more frequently, their children were more likely to use them even more a year later and to show symptoms of addiction and social media use that can lead to conflict, Nagata said.

One of the best things parents can do is set an example of healthy screen use for their children, said Nagata and Seewald.

Guess where the screen-free dining rule isn't always followed? To be honest, at Nagata's house and mine.

My husband is an emergency room doctor and works a lot of nights and weekends. So when he's not home, I leave my phone on the table in case he can take a quick break for a video call with our family.

Similarly, Nagata was on duty last weekend. The day we spoke, he told me he had answered dinnertime phone calls the night before. When this happened, he explained to his children that he was helping other sick children, not watching videos on social media.

So when you have to break the rules, explain why, he said.

Setting an example will not always be easy. But the good news is that putting away everyone's cell phones at night and at mealtimes appears to improve kids' screen experience.

I bet parents will also sleep better knowing they are protecting their children from these negative effects of technology.

Source: CNN