Autistic pride begins where comparison ends

June is internationally recognized as Autism Pride Month, a movement that invites society to see autism beyond the diagnoses, stereotypes and limitations often associated with the condition. More than celebrating differences, this date leads us to reflect on one of the main factors of suffering experienced by many families: constant comparison.

Comparison usually comes very early. Parents observe other children of the same age and wonder why their child still doesn't speak, doesn't play in the same way, doesn't make friends easily or doesn't meet certain school expectations. While this is an understandable reaction, it can turn legitimate developmental differences into an ongoing source of distress.

When an autistic child is evaluated only based on what other children do, there is a risk of only seeing what they lack. Gradually, conversations begin to revolve around what needs to be corrected, trained or achieved. The focus shifts from potential to deficits, from achievements to absences.

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This dynamic also affects parents and many carry a feeling of inadequacy, as if they were failing when they saw their child follow a path different from the one they imagined. The more rigid the expectations, the greater the frustration tends to be. And, often, the child notices this look, feeling constantly forced to be someone different from who they are.

Pride is not about denying challenges
This does not mean ignoring the real challenges that can accompany autism. Some people need significant support in different areas of life, and recognizing these needs is fundamental to ensuring quality of life, inclusion and access to adequate resources. Autistic pride does not consist of denying difficulties, but of understanding that they do not fully define a person.

Neurodiversity: a new perspective on development
In recent years, the concept of neurodiversity has contributed to expanding this understanding. The idea is based on the principle that there are different ways of brain functioning and that these differences are part of human diversity. In practice, this means abandoning the expectation that all people learn, communicate, socialize, or perceive the world in the same way.

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When we adopt this perspective, an important change happens. Instead of asking "why doesn't this child do like the others?", we start asking "how does he learn?", "how does he communicate?" and "what are your strengths?" This change of perspective does not eliminate necessary interventions, but allows them to be constructed based on respect for individuality and not on the attempt to erase differences.

Many autistic people exhibit remarkable abilities, deep interests, creativity, honesty, original thinking, and unique ways of understanding the world. These characteristics are not always valued when attention is focused only on comparisons and standardized expectations.

True autistic pride arises when we understand that development is not a race and that human value cannot be measured by proximity to a standard. It begins when we stop asking how much an autistic person is like others and start recognizing who they are. After all, inclusion does not mean making everyone equal. It means ensuring that each person can be respected in their uniqueness.

*Text written by neuropsychologist Alessandra Paterno (CRP: 06/64168)

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Source: CNN