7 phrases that emotionally mature people never say in an argument
Discussions can be part of any relationship, whether between couples, family, friends or co-workers. The problem is not in the conflict itself, but in the way it is conducted.
Some expressions, although common in moments of tension, can make dialogue difficult, increase emotional exhaustion and even compromise bonds over time.
Emotionally mature people tend to avoid phrases that transfer responsibility, invalidate feelings, or close the door to more constructive communication.
In conversation with Adriano Fernandes, psychologist and specialist in Neuropsychology, who has worked in the clinical area for more than a decade and has experience in research at the Institute of Psychiatry of the Hospital das Clínicas da USP (IPq-HCFMUSP), some phrases frequently used during discussions can reveal difficulties in dealing with conflicts. Check out some examples.
Phrases that reveal emotional immaturity during an argument
1. "I've always been like this"
This phrase usually works as a justification for avoiding changes or reflections on one's own behavior. Instead of assuming the possibility of growth, the person uses their own personality as an argument for not reviewing their attitudes.
2. "You leave me like this"
Attributing responsibility for one's own emotional reactions to others is one of the most common signs of emotional immaturity. Although the attitudes of others may cause discomfort, each individual is responsible for how they choose to respond to situations.
3. "It's not my fault"
During conflicts, emotionally mature people are able to recognize their own role in the problems. Refusal to take any responsibility tends to make resolving the situation difficult.
4. "Everyone acts like that"
Generalizations are often used to minimize inappropriate behavior. According to the expert, this type of argument prevents an individual analysis of the situation and rules out the possibility of change.
5. "Whatever"
Although it seems like a simple sentence, it can hide an attempt to escape the dialogue. Often, "whatever" appears as a passive way of ending the conversation without actually resolving the issue.
6. "I was just joking"
This expression can be used to mask aggressive or offensive comments. When someone feels hurt and the response is "it was just a joke," their feelings end up being invalidated.
7. "You always do that" or "You never understand me"
Very common in discussions, these phrases carry generalizations that make communication difficult. According to the psychologist, they can be interpreted as a way of subduing the judgment of others, ignoring their ability to evolve and change behavior.
Why do emotionally mature people avoid these phrases?
According to the expert, emotionally healthy adults recognize their emotional needs, respect the vulnerabilities of others and seek to understand the differences present in any relationship.
"They seek to resolve the current problem with sensitivity and commitment, avoiding distorted interpretations and dysfunctional coping strategies", he explains to CNN Brasil.
Instead of looking for someone to blame, these people tend to focus on building solutions and strengthening trust within the relationship.
The impact of these expressions on relationships
The frequent use of accusations, personal attacks and generalizations can cause significant wear and tear in coexistence. Over time, it becomes more difficult to build trust, empathy, compassion, and healthy bonds.
In addition, the expert warns of the creation of a vicious circle: the more communication becomes aggressive or defensive, the greater the chances of emotional needs not being understood and met. As a consequence, more frustrations, resentments and new conflicts arise.
The professional also highlights that emotional balance is fundamental to mental health. "Just as the Earth is neither too close to the Sun to burn, nor too far away to freeze, we also need balance in the biopsychosocial context", he compares.
Source: CNN