Ol Roy The Rooter
View chords used in this chart
G
[Verse 1]
G
He lived all alone in a nursing home
C G
His wife died years ago
G
Bit of a lad when he was younger
A D
Bit of a legend now
G
Seems he stole the key to the dispensery
C G
Just went in and helped himself
C G
Viagra, Cialis, finger splints
D G G7
and a tub of KY gel
C G
Saw himself as a carnal carer to all them
D G
women without a man
C G
To all them frustrated frail and elderly
A D N.C.
Roy was their last chance
N.C.
We called him
[Chorus]
G C G
Ol' Roy the rooter
C G
With his six a night shot shooter
G
Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs
A D
Man's got a job to do
G C G
Hung like a fucking thoroughbred
C G
On his pimped up mobility scooter
C G
Chemically enhanced dirty old man
D G
Ol' Roy the rooter
[Verse 2]
G
He was doing his round on his mobility scooter
C G
When he stopped at room 54
G
Old Agnes had dropped the key in his pocket
A D
A little earlier that morning
G
Now here she was stood by her bed
C G
Zimmer frame holding her up
C G
Ol' Roy waltzed in, he give her her a wink and said
D G G7
How can I help ya love
C G
Well ol' Agnes didnt hesitate
D G
She knew why she wanted him here
C G
She said I haven't had a man go down on me
A D N.C.
me for over 50 years
N.C.
I can fix it
[Chorus]
G C G
Ol' Roy the rooter
C G
With his six a night shot shooter
G
Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs
A D
Man's got a job to do
G C G
Hung like a fucking thoroughbred
C G
On his pimped up mobility scooter
C G
A senior sexual superstar
D G
Ol' Roy the rooter
[Verse 3]
G
He said, well let's put away that zimmer frame
C G
And take that lacy nighty off
G
And we won't be needing them nana knickers
A D
But them fluffy slippers turn me on
G
He laid her gently back upon the bed
C G
And like a true blue gent
C G
blew the dust and cobwebs off her minge
D G E
and in he fucking went
[Verse 4]
A
He gagged and spat and spluttered
D A
and he pulled his head right back
A
Fucking hell I've never smelled
B E
A minge as bad as that
A
Sorry, Roy it's me arthritis
D A
Arthritic minge, are you sure?
D A
It's in me shoulders and me elbows
E A N.C.
And I can't wipe me ass no more
N.C.
Sorry.
[Chorus]
A D A
Ol' Roy the rooter
D A
With his six a night shot shooter
A
Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs
B E
Man's got a job to do
A D A
Hung like a fucking thoroughbred
D A
On his pimped up mobility scooter
D A
A geriatric love guru
E A
Ol' Roy the rooter
[Verse 5]
A
But did ol' Roy give up on Agnes
D A
No fucking way
A
He grabbed a can of disinfectant and give
B E
that mangy minge a spray
A
Stuck an oxygen mask over his nose
D A
And a rubber gloves on his tongue
D A
And drived head first into that toxic trench
E A N.C.
Until he made ol' Agnes cum
N.C.
Twice
[Chorus]
A D A
Ol' Roy the rooter
D A
With his six a night shot shooter
A
Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs
B E
Man's got a job to do
A D A
Hung like a fucking thoroughbred
D A
On his pimped up mobility scooter
D A
The living, loving, fucking legend
E A
Ol' Roy the rooter
[Outro]
D A
Chemically enhanced, dirty old man
E A
Ol' Roy the rooter
D A
Senior sexual superstar
E A
Ol' Roy the rooter
D A
Geriatric love guru
E A
Ol' Roy the rooter
D N.C. A N.C.
Living, loving, fucking legend
E N.C. A
Ol' Roy the rooter
How to play Ol Roy The Rooter
Use the controls above to change the key and text size. Follow the highlighted chords while listening, then practice each section slowly before playing at the original tempo.
What is the starting chord?
The first identified chord is G. You can transpose without leaving the page.
Can I play it on guitar or keyboard?
Yes. The chord progression works on acoustic guitar, electric guitar and keyboard. Adapt the voicings to your instrument and level.