Ol Roy The Rooter

G [Verse 1] G He lived all alone in a nursing home C G His wife died years ago G Bit of a lad when he was younger A D Bit of a legend now G Seems he stole the key to the dispensery C G Just went in and helped himself C G Viagra, Cialis, finger splints D G G7 and a tub of KY gel C G Saw himself as a carnal carer to all them D G women without a man C G To all them frustrated frail and elderly A D N.C. Roy was their last chance N.C. We called him [Chorus] G C G Ol' Roy the rooter C G With his six a night shot shooter G Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs A D Man's got a job to do G C G Hung like a fucking thoroughbred C G On his pimped up mobility scooter C G Chemically enhanced dirty old man D G Ol' Roy the rooter [Verse 2] G He was doing his round on his mobility scooter C G When he stopped at room 54 G Old Agnes had dropped the key in his pocket A D A little earlier that morning G Now here she was stood by her bed C G Zimmer frame holding her up C G Ol' Roy waltzed in, he give her her a wink and said D G G7 How can I help ya love C G Well ol' Agnes didnt hesitate D G She knew why she wanted him here C G She said I haven't had a man go down on me A D N.C. me for over 50 years N.C. I can fix it [Chorus] G C G Ol' Roy the rooter C G With his six a night shot shooter G Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs A D Man's got a job to do G C G Hung like a fucking thoroughbred C G On his pimped up mobility scooter C G A senior sexual superstar D G Ol' Roy the rooter [Verse 3] G He said, well let's put away that zimmer frame C G And take that lacy nighty off G And we won't be needing them nana knickers A D But them fluffy slippers turn me on G He laid her gently back upon the bed C G And like a true blue gent C G blew the dust and cobwebs off her minge D G E and in he fucking went [Verse 4] A He gagged and spat and spluttered D A and he pulled his head right back A Fucking hell I've never smelled B E A minge as bad as that A Sorry, Roy it's me arthritis D A Arthritic minge, are you sure? D A It's in me shoulders and me elbows E A N.C. And I can't wipe me ass no more N.C. Sorry. [Chorus] A D A Ol' Roy the rooter D A With his six a night shot shooter A Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs B E Man's got a job to do A D A Hung like a fucking thoroughbred D A On his pimped up mobility scooter D A A geriatric love guru E A Ol' Roy the rooter [Verse 5] A But did ol' Roy give up on Agnes D A No fucking way A He grabbed a can of disinfectant and give B E that mangy minge a spray A Stuck an oxygen mask over his nose D A And a rubber gloves on his tongue D A And drived head first into that toxic trench E A N.C. Until he made ol' Agnes cum N.C. Twice [Chorus] A D A Ol' Roy the rooter D A With his six a night shot shooter A Popping them little blue pills like tic tacs B E Man's got a job to do A D A Hung like a fucking thoroughbred D A On his pimped up mobility scooter D A The living, loving, fucking legend E A Ol' Roy the rooter [Outro] D A Chemically enhanced, dirty old man E A Ol' Roy the rooter D A Senior sexual superstar E A Ol' Roy the rooter D A Geriatric love guru E A Ol' Roy the rooter D N.C. A N.C. Living, loving, fucking legend E N.C. A Ol' Roy the rooter