The Good Book

Life is like an ocean voyage F And our bodies are the ships C And without a moral compass A Dm Dm/C We would all be cast adrift Bb So to keep us on our bearings C The Lord gave us a gift C7 And like most gifts you get C It was a book [Verse 1] F I only read one book Bb But it's a good book, don't you know C7 I act the way I act because C F The Good Book tells me so F F/Eb If I want to know how to be good Bb/D Bbm/Db It's to the Good Book that I go C7 Cause the Good Book is a book F And it is good and it's a book F I know the Good Book's good because Bb The Good Book says it's good C7 I know the Good Book knows it's good C F Because a really good book would F F/Eb You wouldn't cook without a cookbook Bb/D Bbm/Db And I think it's understood C7 You can't be good without a Good Book F Cause it's good and it's a book And it is good for cookin' Dm I tried to read some other books A But I soon gave up on that Bb The paragraphs ain't numbered F C And they complicate the facts A A/G I can't read Harry Potter D/F# Dm/F Cause they're worshiping false gods and that G And Dumbledore's a poofter C And that's bad cause it's not good! F Morality is written there Bb In simple white and black C7 I feel sorry for you heathens C7 F Got to think about all that F F/Eb Good is good and evil's bad Bb/D And goats are good Bbm/Db And pigs are crap C7 You'll find which one is which F In the Good Book G Cause it's good and it's a book And it's a book (yeah!) Dm A I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter Bb The kittens were adorable F C And they made my family laugh A A/G Dm/F But as they grew they started misbehaving G C So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath! A Dm When the creatures in your care start being menaces G C The answers can be found right there in Genesis D Chapter six, verse five through seven! Yee-haw! G Swing your partner by the hand C Have a baby if you can D But if the voices in your head G Say to sacrifice your kid G G7 To satiate your loving God's C C7 Fetish for dead baby blood D It's simple faith the book demands So raise that knife up in your hands F Before the Good Book made us good Bb There was no good way to know C If a thing was good or not-not good F Or kind of touch-and-goso F F7 God decided he'd give writing Bb Allegoric prose a go C And so he wrote a book F And it was generally well-received Bb F C The Telegraph said 'This god is reminiscent of the Norse' Bb F C The Times said 'Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses' A Dm The Mail said 'Lots of massacres; a violent tour-de-force G If you only read one book this year C Then this one is a book D And it is good And it's a book' Yee-haw! G Swing your daughter by the hand C But if she gets raped by a man D And refuses then to marry him Stone her to death! Em B If you just close your eyes and block your ears C G D To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years B Em Then morally guess what? you're off the hook A D And thank Christ you only have to read one book Dm Just because the book's contents A Were written generations hence Dm By hairy desert-dwelling gents A Squatting in their dusty tents Em Just because what Heaven said B Was said before they'd leavened bread Em Just cause Jesus couldn't read B Doesn't mean that we should need C When manipulating human genes G To alleviate pain or fight disease C When deciding whether it's wrong or right G To help the dying let go of life D Or stop a pregnancy when it's D Just a tiny blastocyst B Em There's no reason why we should take a look D C At any other book G/B But the Good Book A Cause it's good and it's a book D And it's a book and it's quite good! G G7/F Good is good and evil's bad C/E Cm/E And kids get killed when God gets mad D You better take a good look G At the Good Book