View chords used in this chart
[(intro ]F C F C F C Bb C7)
F Dm
On the bleakest day autumn could muster
Bb C
In a church to which they'll not return
F Dm
I thought back to a time when I could trust her
F Bb C
To a time when there wasn't John Byrne.
Gm Bb
And in a cruel twist of fate which so often
F C
Occurs in tales such as this
F Dm
I found myself catering reception
Bb C
And there were urges I had to resist.
F Dm
Not least 'cos John Byrne is much fitter
F Bb C C7
And the straightener to him holds no fears
F A7 Dm Bb
So if the chocolate in the fountain tastes bitter
F C F (as intro)
It's because it's been laced with my tears.
F Dm
Celebrations were well underway when
Bb C
Her father prayed silence and spoke
F Dm
He said "It's not like I'm losing a daughter as..."
Bb C
(Violently starting to choke).
Gm Bb
And in a gesture which said "I'm fast fading
F C
Could somebody dial 999?"
F Dm
He valiantly toasted my capers
F Bb C
With a glass of what he thought was wine.
F Dm Bb C
It was gone half past ten before folk cottoned on
F A Bb (instr)
By which time I'd landed in Wick.
F Dm
So if what's in the fondue's to die for
F Bb C C7
It's got nothing to do with the cheese
F A7 Dm F
And if what's in the punchbowl seems lethal
Bb C F
It's because it's two-thirds anti-freeze.
How to play Rsvp
Use the controls above to change the key and text size. Follow the highlighted chords while listening, then practice each section slowly before playing at the original tempo.
What is the starting chord?
The first identified chord is F. You can transpose without leaving the page.
Can I play it on guitar or keyboard?
Yes. The chord progression works on acoustic guitar, electric guitar and keyboard. Adapt the voicings to your instrument and level.