80 Year Old Whore
View chords used in this chart
Intro: C Am F G
C Am
I was walking with my buddies,
F G
And saw a few hot chicks,
C Am
But, I wasnt interested in them,
F G
No, they werent the finest picks,
C Am
But, then you caught my attention,
F G
From the window of the old folks place,
C Am
Right away I knew I was in love,
F G
When I saw the wrinkles on your face,
F G
I came inside to meet you,
C Em Am
And you hobbled right through the door,
G
With your walker,
C Am F G
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am
I love it that your pubes are grey,
F G
And your boobs sag to the floor,
C Em
Every time I take out your dentures,
F G
I know whats in store,
C Am
Its time to clean your dentures,
F G C
Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
Am F G
C Am
Young girls dont turn me on,
F G
Experience is a must,
C Am
Especially when youre 4 foot 8,
F G
And your vagina collects dust,
C Am
When we get to kissin,
F G
You wheeze as I get hyper,
C Am
And I love it when you pluck your whiskers,
F G
As I take off your diaper,
F G
You ask me to change you,
C Em Am
But, baby, that all depends,
G
Pun intended,
C Am F G
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am
I love it when your knees give out,
F G
And you fall straight to the floor,
C Em
Every time I spank that ass,
F G
You poop in your drawers,
C Am
But I dont care at all,
F G C
Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
Am F G
C Am
Many nights, well just stay in,
F G
Well eat applesauce and well watch porn,
C Am
As I massage your hunchback,
F G
And nibble on your corns,
C Am
Your bones are a creakin,
F G
And your arm flab gets me hard,
C Am
But then the Alzheimers kicks in,
F G
And you dont know where the hell you are,
F G
During sex you love it,
C Em Am
When I whisper in your hearing aid,
G
I love you, Ethel,
C Am F G
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am F G
I love it when you call 9-1-1 when you get lost in the grocery store,
C Em Am G
And I dont mind you gave Stonewall Jackson a handjob during the Civil War,
C Am F
Cause Im so damn in love with my beautiful,
G C
80 year-old whore
Am F G C
How to play 80 Year Old Whore
Use the controls above to change the key and text size. Follow the highlighted chords while listening, then practice each section slowly before playing at the original tempo.
What is the starting chord?
The first identified chord is C. You can transpose without leaving the page.
Can I play it on guitar or keyboard?
Yes. The chord progression works on acoustic guitar, electric guitar and keyboard. Adapt the voicings to your instrument and level.