To Be A Liberal

Verse E On my way in here tonight G#m A I bruised my nose hugging a tree. F#m Dmaj7 I was late ‘cause I had to stop by on my way in San Quentin E to set a criminal free. G#m G# And I ran out on seven-grain bee-pollen macrobiotic organic sustainable medical marijuana A for my jerky knee. E F#m G#m Do you know how hard it is F#m to be a liberal? B Well, do ya? E G#m I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi, and dolphin A just so I could relate. F#m I’m exhausted from taxing and spending, and controlling the media, and hiding my agenda, Dmaj7 E and ruling San Francisco as a separatist nation-state. G#m And in yoga today, I got bent out of shape G# ‘cause the guy doing bow-pulling pulls in front of me was intolerant A which I hate! E F#m G#m Do you know how hard it is F#m to be a liberal? B Well, do ya? G Constantly feeding the hungry C and bleeding my heart and exceeding my budget Fmaj7 and needing approval and reading The Nation A# D and leading a sing-along — EVERYBODY! (No wait, that was just an impulse. Sorry.) D A E I was shootin’ hoops with some brothas G#m when I sprained my ba-donka-donk A and ya know that ain’t chill. F#m I saved an endangered snail-darter from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl F#m which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow-leopard Dmaj7 which I saved from being shot by a poacher E who I had to kill — (with kindness. It took a while.) G#m And I hit a speed bump and I spilled my chi-latte all over the hemp-covered seats of my Prius and the speed-bump turned out to be a homeless Native American F#m so I apologized and gave him some land, I stomped out his cigarette and took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on my way to G# A my frivolous lawsuit for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ‘cause I masturbated — against my will! E F#m G#m Do you know how hard it is F#m to be me? E F#m G#m Do you know how hard it is F#m A B just to be a knee-jerk liberal? F#m What I wouldn’t give A B E to be a circle-jerk conservative!