Cifra de The Mystery Of The Squarest Country - Jay Foreman
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[Note] The song is sung by Jay Foreman and/or Mark-Cooper Jones during an episode of Map
Men.
[Note] The link is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mrNEVUuZdk
[Intro]
N.C.
Someone's emailed us asking which country looks most like a square
N.C.
What a stupid question, totally pointless
N.C.
Slovakia? No. Georgia? No.
N.C.
Bangladesh? No, Bangladesh looks like a wizard
N.C.
You think everything looks like a wizard!
N.C.
Ghana? Too long
N.C.
North Macedonia? Too round
N.C.
Liberia? Uhh, no
N.C.
Malaysia? Jay, Malaysia is not a square!
N.C.
Well there must be one somewhere!
[Verse]
N.C.
Not in Oman, or the UAE, and Yemen's more a rectangle. Yes, I can see
N.C.
And Russia's nothing like a square, too long as far as I'm aware
N.C.
Mali starts off strongly but right here it goes to pot
N.C.
Burkina Faso is irregular, four sided it is not!
N.C.
Italy's a boot, and so is Papua New Guinea
N.C.
What about Benin and Togo? No, they're both far too skinny
N.C.
What about these little countries, Costa Rica, Lebanon?
N.C.
There's no square in Singapore, Brunei, Mauritius or Gabon
[Verse]
G
Kuwait looks like a little thumb, Madagascar looks quite lean
D
Burundi looks quite like a heart, Qatar looks like a bean
G
India's a diamond and Slovenia's a splot
Cuba's very long and thin and both Koreas are short and squat
C
Mozambique has got too many sides, Uzbekistan as well
C
Little Paraguay's no paradigm, Mauritania's an "L"
G
Malawi's like a seahorse, Guinea-Bissau's a weathered rock
D G
Nauru's nearly a circle and Somalia's a sock
France is famously a hexagon that fact is quite well known
But it's not the only one it's joined by Sierra Leone
What about these landlocked countries like Nepal or South Sudan?
They're not square nor is Denmark, Finland, China or Iran
Luxembourgers are all squares, which their borders don't reflect
And Australia's a cat-dog, and Japan we must reject
Guatemala's got two square-ish sides in this bit in the north
But it won't meet our criteria as it needs a third and fourth
[Bridge]
Em
Timor-Leste? Doesn't pass the test
B7
Moldova, Guinea? Don't be silly.
Little Rwanda? Doesn't stand a hope in hell
Nor does Israel.
N.C.
Are we seriously gonna go through every country?
N.C.
Yes, I think it's important
[Verse]
Both the USA and Canada have squares in large amounts
But we're only counting countries so states don't count
G
Poland would look like a square if it invaded to the south
Kazakhstan looks like a turtle with a leaf stuck in its mouth
C
Despite the square's efficency, the Germans don't come close
C
And Peru is like a resting dog, Guyana's like a ghost.
G
Ethopia and Switzerland look like potato wedges
D G
Norway, Sweden, and New Zealand have far too crinkly edges
If you have a lot of coastline then your sides will not be straight
So the square-ness if the Philippines, Greece and Ireland won't be great
Tajikistan's quite funky, so is elephant-head shaped Thailand
There's no square in Indonesia's 18,000 tiny islands
If your country's made of islands, a square it will never be
There are loads of tiny countries that are mostly empty sea
D
Trinidad and Tobago, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, the Solomon Islands, the Seychelles
D D7
The Maldives, Micronesia, Fiji, the Marshall Islands, St. Kitts and Nevis
D7
Sao Tome and Principe, the Bahamas, Cape Verde, Tonga, Vanuatu
[Verse]
The Netherlands are flat although its edges do not fit
And the following are countries with a sticky outy bit
There's Afghanistan, Namibia, the DRC's got two
There's Ukraine, Eritrea, Cyprus, and Kosovo
Is Morocco square? No, it's more a stair
Kiribati? Not square, alas
Senegal? Not square at all!
D
San Marino? San Mari-no!
[Verse]
G#
C.A.R., so near so far, Botswana looks like a flounder
D#
Chad looks like Jay Leno, Eswatini couldn't be rounder
G#
Mongolia looks like a bat, the Congo's kinda foxy
D# G#
Myanmar's like a genie, and not even slightly boxy
C#
Belize has one edge, here that's straight, but this bit's rather lumpy
C#
Algeria and Kenya are pentagons, Honduras is too bumpy
G#
Sri Lanka's like a raindrop, Kyrgyzstan's a bird in flight
D# G#
Iraq and Jordan's lines are straight but the angles aren't quite right
F A#m
Colombia's kinda square-ish though its borders are quite rough
And Iberia would pass but Spain alone's not square enough
If Bolivia expanded, than a square it just might be
Nicaragua would look square if you viewed it in 3D
Little Liechtenstein and the Argentines are not square in the least
The Dominican Republic? Well that just tapers to the east
Lesotho's sort of square-ish but the angle's on the wonk
D# G#
Cameroon is like a chicken with a huge badonkadonk
[Bridge]
Fm
Mexico? Nope, nope, nope, nope
C7
Portugal, too thin, too tall
A#m
The Saudis? Too much on a slant
The Vatican? The Vati-can't!
[Verse]
Listing every country by its shape is not an easy job
When inevitively most of them look only like a blob
So to make things more efficient as I'm sure you've got the jist
Here are all the blobby countries in a quick, compiled list
N.C.
Andorra, Antigua and Barbuda, Austria, Barbados, Belgium, Belarus, Bhutan, Bosnia and
Herzegovina
N.C.
Cambodia, Czechia, Djibouti, Dominica, Estonia
N.C.
Grenada, Hungary, Iceland, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania
N.C.
Serbia, St. Lucia, Tanzania, Uruguay, Zimbabwe
[Verse]
A
Samoa's like a butterfly whose wings have been removed
E
But add Ecuador and Bahrain, and it's massively improved
A
Little Monaco's so tiny you can see the piers within
E
Chile's very, very, very, very, very, long and thin
D
Uganda cannot be a square because of all the lakes
D
The Gambia, Vietnam, and Panama all look like snakes
A
Haiti, Croatia, and Zambia all have shapes that wrap around
E A
Syria's just a bit too slopey, and El Salvador's too long (that doesn't rhyme!)
F# Bm
Palau looks like a jellyfish, Pakistan looks like a duck
F# Bm
Azerbaijan looks like a bird that's been run over by a truck
E A
This monkey is Armenian, this shooting star's Laotian
E
Jamaica, Malta and Niger are creatures from the ocean
Greenland's not a real country even though it's really big
The UK looks like an old witch sitting sideways on a pig
Comoros would if it were glued
Some parts of Tuvalu look rude
Turkmenistan looks like something or another
Tunisia and Albania look like each other
[Bridge]
South Africa's too wobbly, Bulgaria's too knobbly
Brazil is too triangular, Turkey is too rectangular
[Verse]
Now the only countries left are ones whose squareness are the best
If you know which ones are coming, we're incredibly impressed
Little Montenegro's square if you rotate it some degrees
South Sudan has left behind a very square North Sudanese
The angles in Angola mean it's nearly good to go
D#
And Nigeria comes close, although it bulges down below
A#
Libya is nearly square, it's more a parallelogram
And Cote d'Ivoire and Suriname do well in our exam
Equatorial Guinea's very square but unfortunately
Since its capital's on an island, then the squarest it can't be
[Tag]
So the winner of our contest
Fitting all our tight prescriptions
It's the squarest of the squarest, the nation of the Pharaohs
The land of Cleopatra, the country where the Sphinx is
It's the land of the Egyptians!