Ricky Tidwell's Mama's Gonna Play Football
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Intro
Ricky (G) Tidwell was a great athlete
He was a (C) big strong boy that was quick on his feet
And every (G) college in the country wanted Ricky blockin' on their (D) line
Oh when the (G) scouts came knocking on Ricky's door
They (C) didn't want to talk to young Rick no more
When they (G) saw his mama she's the (D) one they wanted to (G) sign
She was a real bold woman raised on a farm
Had (C) Bear Bryant tattooed on her forearm
She was (G) meaner than hell and ran the 40 in 4.(D)3
She could (G) squat 600 bench press 5
The (C) hands down meanest homemaker alive
Got a (G) scholarship playing line(D)backer in the SE(G)C (G7)
Ricky (C) Tidwell's mama is gonna play football
Her (G) real name's Doris but they're gonna call her "Too (D) Tall"
She's got (G) shoulders and a hind end four foot wide
(C) Going to college on a (C7) full ride
Mrs. (G) Tidwell's will you (D) play in the (F) NC-(C)-double-(G)-A
She'd (G) wash all her team mates uniforms
Tucked (C) everybody in the football dorms
(G) Cooked the game meal, said the Lord's prayer
You're (D) missing a jockstrap? She's got a spare
(G) Crawled in the huddle, and called all the plays
The (C) only one tough enough to go both ways
Got a (G) mouth full of mud, scarred up knees
(D) Cussing out the coaches and the referees
Ricky (C) Tidwell's mama's gonna play football
Her (G) real name's Doris
Everbody calls her "Too (D) Tall"
They say she's a (G) fine young man but she's really not
Ricky's (C) mama was the master of the (C7) cheap shot
And on the (G) triple option (D) play she'd (F) ruin (C) your (G) day
She led the (F) team in tackles and the (C) league in sacks
Res(G)ponsible for killing nine running backs
But the (F) school's reputation (C) was destroyed
They (G) accused Ricky's mama of (D) ster(D7)oids
Ricky (C) Tidwell's mama's on probation
Now the (G) college is started their investiga(D)tion
They wouldn't leave (G) poor Ricky Tidwell's mama alone
Said (C) she'd been takin' male (C7) hormones
Doris (G) Tidwell's gonna be (D) hell
In the (F) N-(C)-F(G)-L
Ricky Tidwell's mama
Spoken:
I got a flagrant personal foul, unsportsmanlike conduct
Illegal use of a clothesline
15 yard penalty
1st down
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