Mr. Bad Example

E B7 I started as an altar boy working in the church B7 E Learning all my holy moves and doing some research E A7 Which led me to a cash box labelled "Children's Fund" A7 E B7 E I left the coins and tucked the bills inside my cummerbund I got a part time job at my father's carpet store Laying tackless stripping and housewives by the score I loaded up their furniture and took it to Spokane and auctioned off every last Naugahyde divan I'm very well acquainted with the seven deadly sins I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in I'm proud to be a glutton and I don't have time for sloth I'm greedy and I'm angry and I don't care who I cross CHORUS: A7 E B7 E I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt A7 E B7 E I like to have a good time and I don't care who gets hurt A7 E B7 E I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me A7 E B7 E I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy Of course I went to law school, took a law degree Counselled all my clients to plead insanity Then worked in hair replacement swindling the bald Where very few are chosen and fewer still are called Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de faire I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair I put my last few francs down on a prostitute Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig Headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig? Fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide Flipping through the want ads sipping Fosters in the shade I opened up an agency somewhere down the line To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut Whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot CHORUS I bought a first class ticket on Malaysian Air Landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear I'm thinking of retiring from all my dirty deals And I'll see you in the next life, wake me up for meals!