Song: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
INTRO:
{spoken:}
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
VERSE 1:
Bb5 A5 B5 C#5 E5 B5
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
A5 B5 C#5
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
B5 A5 B5 E5
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Eb5 C#5 A5
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
B5 {stop}
I just wish I was queer so I could get
[Refrão]E5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
E5 B5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
A5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
VERSE 2:
A5 B5 C#5 E5 B5
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
A5 B5 C#5
Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
B5 A5 B5 E5
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
Eb5 C#5 A5
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
B5 C#5
Scoring with a super model would be easy
VERSE 3:
A5 B5
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but also is synonomous with
C#5 E5 B5
'super dumb'
A5 B5
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and
C#5 B5
soon I'd become
A5 B5 E5
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
Eb5 C#5 A5
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
B5 {stop}
I wish I was queer so I could get
[Refrão]E5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
E5 B5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
A5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
VERSE 4: {play like Verse 3}
BRIDGE:
E5 C#5 C#5 B5 A5 Bb5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
Chicks
E5 C#5 C#5 B5 A5 Bb5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
VERSE 5: {play like Verse 3}
OUTRO:
C#5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
C#5
Chicks dig guys that are
E5 B5
Queer guys that don't dig
C#5
Chicks dig guys that are
B5
Queer guys that don't dig
C#5 E5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
B5
And I don't shave my heiny
C#5
Don't shave my heiny
E5 B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
B5
And I don't shave my heiny
C#5
Don't shave my heiny
E5 B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
B5
And I don't shave my heiny
C#5
Don't shave my heiny
E5 B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly