Close But No Cigar

Intro: D D Dsus4 D (3x) D G Jillian was her name D G She was sweeter than aspartame Her kisses reconfigured my DNA And after that I never was the same And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved soufflé She was gorgeous, she was charming, Yeah, she was perfect in every way Except she was always using the word "infer" When she obviously meant "imply" A And I know some guys would put up with that kinda thing G But frankly, I can't imagine why D And I told her, I said, "Hey! G Are we playing horseshoes honey? Am G No I don't think we are, D G You're close (close!) D But no cigar!" Then I met sweet young Janet Prettiest thing on the planet Had a body hotter than a habañero She had lips like a ripe pomegranate And I was crazy like Manson about her She got me all choked up like Mama Cass She had a smile so incredibly radiant You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass I thought: after all these years of searching around I've found my soulmate finally But one day I found out she actually owned a copy Of _Joe Dirt_ on DVD, oh no I said, "Hey! Are we lobbin' hand grenades, kiddo? No I don't think we are You're close (close!) Oh, so very close (close!) Yeah baby, you're close (close!) So close, but no cigar!" D5 D7 Aww yeah Dsus4 Dm Aww no Asus4 Asus4 Aww yeah A A Aww no D Alright!