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Simplificar Afinação: E A D G B ETecla: AmCapotraste: Sem capotraste [Intro] Am F G Am G F Am G F [Verse 1] Am G I can beat every level in Mario F I can make you scrambled eggs Am G I can quote every line in Jumanji F I can open the fridge with my legs Am G I know how to go to the grocery store F Without using GPS Am G I learned how to juggle on YouTube F Dm7 Dm7 Dm7 But there's something I gotta get off my chest [Pre-Chorus] FM7 I don’t know how to do my taxes G I stash my cash in a mattress Am Don't know how to change a tire Am That's why I take the bus FM7 I don’t know how to use a drill G I gotta ask my neighbor Phil Am To help me hang a picture Am G Am 'Cause I'm stupid and I suck [Chorus] FM7 G I could learn all of these skills C Em Am But I doubt I ever will F My dad is ashamed of me Em Dm C G Am G F Am G F 'cause I just turned 33 [Verse 2] Am G I can nap pretty much whenever F G I can cook a burger well-done Am G I can make my eyes roll to the back of my head F Am I can make my tongue look like a hot dog bun Am7 G I know how to put two holes in an apple FM7 And smoke it like a bong Am G I can chug a can of Sprite in a minute F Dm Dm7 Dm7 And then carve that can into a bong FM7 But I can't spell "restaurant" G I know it starts with R Am And I know it ends with T Am The middle is a mystery FM7 I don't know how to make a pasta sauce G I mostly use ketchup Am It's still tomato-based Am G Am Get off my friggin' case [Chorus] FM7 G I could learn all of this shit Em Am But every time I try, I quit F My mom is ashamed of me Em Dm C G Am F G ’cause I just turned 33 [Bridge] Dm G When Albert Einstein was 26 C G Am He discovered relativity F G And when I was 26, I chugged some C G Am Vodka through my butt at a party Dm G When Greta Thunberg was 17 C G Am She was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize F G When I was 17, I got C G Am Shot in the dick playing paintball Dm G When Michael Jordan was 24 C CM7 Am He won the MVP award F G C CM7 Am And when I was 24, I took mushroo-o-o-o-oooms Dm G When Oprah Winfrey was 32 C CM7 Am She changed television forever F G Am Am Am When I was 32 I asked my father for a hundred dollars And he said Dm G No-ohohooooo Am Not again, not-a not again, not again Dm G Nooo hohoho hoo Am Not again, not-a not again, not again Dm G Am G C F G Am C G Am Am F G I, I suck Am F G I, I suck (I suck at stuff) Am F G I, I suck (I suck at stuff) Am G I, I suck (I fucking suck) Am F G C B5 I suck, I suck, I suck at stuff Am F G C B5 I suck, I suck, at stuff Am F G C B5 I suck, I suck, I suck at stuff (I suck, I suck, I suck) Am F G I suck, I suck (I fucking suck, I suck) [Chorus] F G I could learn all of these skills (I fucking suck so much) C Am But I doubt I ever will (I fucking suck) F My uncle’s ashamed of me F Dm C G Am 'cause I just turned thirty three G G Am And I suck