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Mike Cross

The Scotsman

Mike Cross

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[Verso 1] C G F C Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair C G F C And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share C G F C He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet C G F C Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street [Verso 2] C G F C About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by C G F C And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye C G F C See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built C G F C I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt [Verso 3] C G F C They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be C G F C Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see C G F C And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt C G F C Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth [Verso 4] C G F C They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone C G F C Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along C G F C As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow C G F C Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show [Verso 5] C G F C Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees C G F C Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees C G F C And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes C G F C O lad, I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C O lad, I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize [Verso 6] C G F C Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt, continued up the street C G F C He hadn't gone ten yards or more, when a lass he chanced to meet C G F C She said: "I've heard what's underneath there, tell me, is it so?" C G F C He said: "Just slip your hand up, lass, if y'really want to know!" C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C He said: "Just slip your hand up, lass, if y'really want to know!" [Verso 7] C G F C So she slipped her hand right up his kilt, and much to her surprise C G F C The Scotsman smiled, and a very strange look came into his eyes C G F C She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" And then she heard him roar: C G F C "If you stick yer hand up once again, you'll find it grew some more!" C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C "If you stick yer hand up once again, you'll find it grew some more!" [Verso 8] C G F C The Scotsman's hands were numb with drink, his head was spinning 'round C G F C He couldn't get that ribbon off, so homeward he was bound C G F C His wife she caught a flash of blue, as he took off his clothes C G F C And it piqued her curiosity, as you might well suppose C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C And it piqued her curiosity, as you might well suppose [Verso 9] C G F C Well, then she asked that Scotsman, where he'd been and what he'd done C G F C He said there was a contest at the pub, and that he'd won C G F C She cried, you did not show that thing, in front of all those men? C G F C I did not show it all my love, but just enough to win C G F C Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh C G F C I did not show it all my love, but just enough to win